The truth is, excuses are lame...
Yeah... that's in an RK song. Just felt like saying it cause I've been making a lot of them lately. I won't even apoligize because I'll start making excuses again. I have a new favorite song. "Never Alone" by Barlow Girls. I thought I'd post the lirics here so that you can understnad when I start talking about it later.
Never Alone
I waited for you today
But you did show, no no
I needed you today
So where did you go?
You told me to call
Said you'd be there
and though I haven't seen you
Are you still there?
(Chorus)
I cry out with no reply
and I can't feel you by my side
so I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I'm never alone
And though I cannot see you
and I can't explain why
Such a deep, deep reasurance
You've placed in my life
we cannot separate
You're part of me
and thought You're invisable
I trust the unseen
I cry out with no reply
and I can't feel you by my side
so, I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I'm never alone
We cannot separate
Cause You're part of me
and thought You're invisable I
Trust the Unseen
That song is just the perfect descirption of how I feel right now. Like, I can't feel or hear God, but I know, I have to believe, that He is out there somewhere just watching me for a while. I also somehow give me peace and understanding. I've been struggling with relationships for a while, and to know now what I'm supposed to do is such a relief. I used to think that I would be married right out of college and I would have a little baby boy within the first two years and I would stay at home while my perfect little husband went to work and when he got home I would have his slippers ready and a hot meal on the table. Apparently, that's not where God has called me to be. I doubt, now, whether I will ever even get married, let alone never need a full time job. Wow... I never thought this is where my life was going. I see now, that everything has been leading up to the Marines and to a life of singleness, but it still surprizes me how different my planes were from Gods. I think He did that on purpose, that trickster! But you know what?? I'm ok with it all. I am now, anyway. It used to make me really upset and lonely to think that I might not ever be married, but know I understand. I don't know why it's this way, but I understand that that is the direction that I'm supposed to go in. Wow.. God is awsome!! He really really is!
I've changed so much. Part of it is the change of plans... I guess I've changed just enough to prepare me for the task ahead. You know, I used to be scared of spiders and snakes?? Not anymore... I used to not even want to look at slugs and things like that.. this summer I was picking leeches off of kids (and myself) without thinking about it. Incredible... and I'm not sure if it has just come with age, or God has been giving me expriances that are going to help me in the future. Probably both. Well... I hope all of you are as sure about the Mariens as I am... I would hate to leave my friends still in doubt about the path that I have chosen. All I want is prayer and lots of letters!! I need at least one letter a day! I don't care who it's from, but boot camp will go by so much faster if I can look forward to mail call. I've been told that letter from home have been the only thing that kept recruits going though The Crucible. so I'm counting on you to sustain me! Start writing letters now to send me later! that would be awsome! MAybe I'll write a few letter to myself. I could do that too!
I love you guys!! TTYL! Bubbye!
posted by Ernie @ 11:43
4 Comments:
You know, It seems like this year has been a big change year. Evryone is changing in a noticable way. I know I have, Ernie, you have! They guys have, Becky has...it's all a part of growing up!
Woah, girl. God is NOT "out there somewhere." Don't EVER believe that. God is...right with you. He's not in some distant place watching and organizing things. He is right beside you, living your life with you because He loves you more than you can imagine.
Anyways, you made me laugh just once. Are you sure you meant that God has different planes than you did? I wasn't aware that you had any planes...
Oh, and you don't KNOW that you're not getting married. There's no reason to give up hope...you might be suprised, God has never been predictable (you said that yourself about five times).
Oh, and I LOVED the song. I want to hear it VERY badly.
Ya'know, God gives us a time when we are single. Singletons are able to do other amazing things for Him that Smug Marrieds can't (not that I know any SMUG Marrieds, but I liked the name..I need to come up with a better one). So, even if it looks like with in the next 10 years you won't get married, who know's what is going to happen. You'll find some guy, and the rest will be history. Frankly, I don't plan on getting married until I'm like 30. But, then again, who knows...God! Hope that makes you feel better. Ernie, you are a women who will have a man. You're not the type who won't have one. It may take awhile..but it's gonna happen!
HEy, this is Beco....that song is like, my favorite song...it really inspires me...wow, I just want to talk to somebody...just one somebody, who is close to me....cause then I can just let out all these frustrated feelings...Susannah, I'm trying not to think about all this crap to much...sigh. When are you leaving for bota campo, Erin? I think that'll be cool if ppl start writing letters now...I think I might...lol
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